Monday, May 14, 2012

Discover How You'll Get Your Ex Back in 4 Easy Steps

 Get Your Ex Back in 4 Easy Steps

Almost everyone has had to go through a breakup.  A breakup is a strange thing.  Most things in life seem to get easier the more you do them.  With breakups, no matter how many you've had to go through, they certainly don't become easier for you to go through.
After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people desire to get their ex back.  In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back.  You really shouldn't try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or abusive language was used to hurt you.  That is not a healthy relationship.  If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky and allow yourself to move on.
Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern.  When you first meet someone everything is awesome, and fresh.  Roll out the red carpet, what a sweetheart etc, and then after awhile that complacency sets in.  You begin adjusting to each other.  When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change.  The little quirks you were willing to overlook before may actually become bothersome to you now.
The expression: "Familiarity breeds contempt holds true."  True feelings arise in relationships.  When a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other is when trouble usually starts and the door is open.  This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship.  It takes work and effort to maintain a healthy relationship.  Often times, when things break and become challenging is when you will have problems, instead of working on repairing things together, one or both persons wants out of the relationship completely.
If you believe, despite the feelings of it being over, your relationship is worth saving, even if the other person made it clear, it's over?  We have 4 steps below on How You Get Your Ex Back.  Here are four steps you can take.
1.Saying sorry
Saying you are sorry and meaning it is one of the best beginning methods to get your ex back.  Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's usually the best first step.  Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons.  After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself or even your ex for everything.  Remember, it takes two to have a successful relationship.  Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.
Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait you into an argument.  The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight.  If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don't get defensive.  Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.
2.Sit down and talk things out
If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk.  Whatever you do don't beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this.  If they don't want to, then just go to the next step.  If they do agree, you're going to have to keep your emotions in check.  This isn't the time to get into a fight again.  Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.
You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll get better results.  Sometimes it is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, but not always.
3.Give some space
This may seem counter-intuitive to get your ex back.  You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they feel the same way.  It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you.  If you're in touch with them all the time, they won't be able to miss you.
4.Show them you care about yourself
Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed.  If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors.  Hang out with friends.  Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall.  You need to, just get up and get out and live your life.
It's best if you're not there when your ex calls.  Then they'll be wondering what you're doing.  If you're out and your cell rings and its your ex, don't answer it.  Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back.  Tell them you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back.  This may or may not shock them. You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.Stay calm and keep your wits about you, good luck. If you would like more help just click the link  Get Your Ex Back!

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